I saw a friend the other day who is in the midst of making a decision that will impact hugely on her life and the life of those close to her. She was so caught up in the process of indecision, that she was behaving in a most peculiar way. So distracted and troubled as she was by the unanswered questions in her mind, that she couldn't look me or anyone else in the eye, couldn't keep still to the extent that she paced the room in a frenetic, distracted fashion, and could hardly string a sentence together. The woman appeared to be in the most vivid mental and physical discomfort. Frankly, she appeared to have gone a little mad.
The circle of friends this woman has, has been working overtime. It seems that almost everybody has a strong opinion as to what this woman should do, and they are telling her. They care about her, they want her safe, they want to help ease her discomfort and bring her to the conclusion that they anticipate will bring her relief and final resolution. They are, without a doubt, attempting to interfere in this woman's life, and the justification for that interference is that it is what it means to be a good friend to someone. The thing is, whether or not that is true, nothing is happening.
Something will only happen when the woman herself makes a decision. Does this show that one can push and pull at someone all one likes, but in fact it is not possible to ever really control the thoughts or behaviour of another? It might look as if sometimes one does, but isn't that only because what they have chosen to think or how they have chosen to behave, happens to accidentally coincide with what one was pushing for? Purely coincidental.
She will make the decision she makes, when she makes it, and whilst she might listen to opinions, the decision will only ever be hers, and no-one can interfere with that.